Before you read on, I don’t want to hear how bad/awful/or stupid I’m being. I did all the research and I am keeping track of my health. If anything seems even remotely out of the norm I will stop doing it. Now that being said I decided to try what is called Intermittent fasting. It’s a patern of eating that alternates between periods of fasting and non fasting. Usually 24 hour period, and yes that does include sleep. So lets say I start at 2pm then I have already eaten breakfast and lunch and don’t eat again the next day until after 2pm. Not a big deal, since you are eating everyday. I started intermittent fasting as kind of a platform to see if I would be able to do an actual fast. Doing research I found that intermittent fasting has alot of benefits, and while has no spiritual connotation in this case (unlike actual fast) it does tend to be view in a bad light along with all terms of fasting. For some one like me that gets obsesive about choices. Usually planning a meal on a diet gets the point I find my waking hours around planning, measuring, cooking the food. That the 5-10 minutes of eating it. Packing food, off the list food, and all the other fun stuff. The beauty here for me is the lack of choices. Don’t do a damn thing for 24 hours. Then eat like normally for 24. Rinse, Repeat. (By normally I don’t mean binge and stuff yourself silly for that day you didn’t) So here a track of my days when I fast.
“Yesterday was harder than the first time. NEVER eat a full meal before going on a fast. It so much easier to taper off. I got nasty headache and just wanted to stay in bed all day (that could have also been because of the nasty weather). Went to bed early.”
Woke up in MUCH better mood. Full of energy and hope. My hardest obstacle today will be playing with my gaming group. Its usually a snack fest. It’s kinda been why I have been slipping and sliding during this time. (I choose to fast today because I need to learn to say no to myself.) Just have to keep saying No, No, No. We’ll see how it goes.
Update: I’m sitting here (in front of a plate of food) with no one else really knowing what I’m doing. Not that I would share it. They wouldn’t understand. Until right now I don’t think I understood myself. All I was thinking about was loosing weight and dropping my blood pressure but my problem was that honestly I don’t have the strongest will. In fact I’m all for gratification and if I don’t get it now then I assume things aren’t going my way and I then do something else to get gratification. I would think about the next pleasure without consequence. Now sitting here looking at the plate on the table in font of me and my head is going through justification of how or why I should have one. I can talk myself into anything, I can lie to myself to the point I’ll believe the sky was green. I’m at a point that I can talk myself into it and just start over tomorrow (and the day after and start again the day after that)
or stand my ground and say no. Finish what I start. I still have 5 more hours to go before I get to retreat home without temptation. If you never read this then I didn’t make it.
Update: 5 hours later, after watchting snacking, dinner, and dessert. I have’t caved in but I wonder if I really want this. This is how I second guess myself. Maybe tomorrow I can reset my belief.
Day 3: Food day! Instead of eating myself sick like I felt like doing. I just ate normally. Surprisingly I only twice. One heavy meal one very very light meal. Glad I didn’t cave in. Lets see what tomorrow brings.
Day4: FAILURE. Damn. Went with a friend as a favor by a place right next to the best place to get a burger in korea Or maybe the only place you can get a REAL burger in Korea. Couldn’t say no. Damn
Day 5: Ate once today even if wasn’t supposed too. GAD!!
Day6: 24 hour fast, just happened when I didn’t think about it and just did it.
Day7: Gaming day again! This time I fasted the day before so I could eat with my friends. Feels good to hang out guilt free and enjoy my day. Conisdering how the week went I realize I haven’t been hazing on snacks. Just ate when hungry. Did however ate too much pizza (by too much I mean what I usually eat but my tummy gurgling. SHHHHH!!)
Blood Pressure: From 135/85
Weight: Lost 5lb